Confession Time

A part of me feels like a failure. I moved to LA to pursue the music business. I've wanted to work at a record label forever and music is my passion. I moved here back in January with a few contacts and a couple potential job leads. Yet, here I am 9 months later and no music job to speak of. There are just no open paid positions in the music industry right now. Trust me, I've looked everywhere and asked everyone that I know here.

Here comes my confession; I've decided to put the music business job search on hold and I've taken on a full time nannying and babysitting gig. Perhaps if I call myself an 'Au-Pair', it will sound fancier. Anyway, as I've mentioned before in my blog, I started babysitting shortly after I moved here. I have always at one time in my life or another worked with children. I guess it's no surprise that a teacher's daughter would enjoy being with kids. Plus, I'm really just a big kid at heart so that attributes to it as well. : )

Despite the the fact that I really enjoy nannying and it's pretty good money and I'm not stuck behind a desk all day, I still cannot help but feel like a failure. This was certainly NOT my plan. I had much higher musical hopes for my life here in LA. So, now what? Do I stop searching for music biz jobs altogether and focus on this nannying gig? I'm not sure. I guess what's important now is if I'm happy and have a steady income, check and check to that. Life has definitely thrown me harder curve balls in the past.

So, the family that I'm working for has an adorable 16 month old boy named Jake and a little Maltese-Shitzu named Chloe, that I look after during the day as well.


Jake is a super lovable and easy-going kid. I really couldn't have asked for a better behaved or happier child to nanny for. My favorite thing to do (now, that I've gotten the hang of it) is to go on walks around their neighborhood with the two of them. Jake sits happily in his red wagon picking up leaves and Chloe trots ahead of us, on a leash of course. The family lives very close to me which saves me the headache of dealing with awful LA morning traffic. I've been working for this family for only two weeks but I can already tell it's going be a very rewarding experience.

Life really is all about adjusting your plan and being flexible enough to change it accordingly. I suppose that's exactly what I'm doing. Recently, I watched an old episode of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer", and in one particular moving Buffy speech, she says, "I'm like cookie dough, I'm not done baking. I'm not done being who I'm going to be." This line really spoke to me. When are we ever really done "baking"? 30? 40? 50 even?

I still want to eventually work at a record label but for now, I'll do the nannying thing. Perhaps my big confession shouldn't be that I took this nannying job, but rather, I confess that I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what career path I want to follow. Geesh, is this what 27 is supposed to feel like?