2 and a Half Years Ago

I could just direct you to my sister's blog but I thought her post yesterday was so sweet and thoughtful that I had to put it here in my own blog. For the real thing though, feel free to go to her blog, Letters For Lucas.

Thank you Tonya for letting me borrow your words since I currently lack my own. You are always better then me at explaining how you feel. Thankfully, your words here define my emotions now too. Together, we will get through the next 2 and a half years and beyond without mom and dad.

"Loss is a part of my life and I can't deny or ignore it, but I don't want to own it and I certainly don't know how to embrace it... yet.

My parents have been gone for two and a half years today, April 15th.

Two and a half years too many.

There is no escape from loss.

Loss follows you wherever you go.

Reminders are everywhere.

Grief and loss are exhausting.

Time is no cure for grief or loss; they are constant.

As much as I don't want the loss of my parents to define who I am, it is part of me.

I think about them every day and miss them more than words can describe.

I'm angry that they were taken from me too soon and heartbroken that you will never get to meet them.

I am grateful for the 35 years I had with my mom and dad, my memories of happier times, the lessons they taught me, photos I have of them, letters they wrote me, books, music and movies that we shared and enjoyed as a family and my sister, who shares my loss. Together, along with your father, we will make sure that you know your grandparents.

I press on because I know that my parents would want me to and because I believe that best is yet to be."