Saturday, November 6, 2010

Guys and Girls: Friends!?

I don't understand why it's so hard for guys to believe that girls and guys can be just friends. What's the deal? If you are guy reading this, please tell me do you feel this way? We are both human and not everyone is attracted to each other but still may get along great, thus, the makings for a perfect friendship. Right?

I have two amazing good guy friends and several others whom I adore and would never ever want to be in any other capacity than the friend zone with them. If they have to crash at my place, I'll let them sleep in my bed with me, I'd probably undress in front of them if it comes to that (not sure why), we can talk about anything and everything, etc...

So, what exactly got me on this topic? Well this afternoon a friend emailed the following and it got me thinking about the issue and thought I should take it to the blog. It's absolutely ridiculous to me that her friends didn't understand that a girl and a guy could just SLEEP in the same bed together and not get busy.

Ok, here's the back story: My friend let one of her GUY FRIENDS spend the night at her place so he didn't have to drive drunk the 30 miles home. How nice of her, right? The next morning, they were spotted leaving her home and some of the guys she worked with were giving her a hard time about it.

Here is their conversation:

Friend: We all know Gannaway stayed the night
Her: Yes, but nothing happened

Another Friend: So, you are telling us that you slept together and nothing happened?
Her: That is one thing that took me a while to get used to when I moved here. In AZ my girl and guy friends stayed the night at one another's places all the time and nobody ever assumed anything happened.
Another Friend: So are your guy friends gay?
Her: No
Friend: Were they ugly?
Her: No, they're actually relatively attractive
Friend: (looking perplexed): So they were just cool like that?
Her: (annoyed): Yeah
Another Friend: (still perplexed) I guess you are kind of chatty so maybe a guy could have something in common with you other than sex.

What do you think about all of this? Oh, this is weird, I just went to look for a picture for this post on Google images and I typed in "friendships" and all I got were a bunch of pictures of women! What's that about?! Apparently Google doesn't think that men and women can just be friends either.... : ( Guess this post just won't have a picture then....


  1. I have a bunch of guy friends who I am certain are not attracted to me and neither am I to them. I think that the younger people, by younger i mean 18-27 have a hard time understanding that you can have just a friendship with someone of the opposite sex.

  2. I'm not sure what it's like in America but in England I think it's very normal to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.

    I would however find it weird to share my bed with a friend (whether opposite sex or not) but I think that's just because it isn't the "norm" in my culture. If people stay over then they usually just go in the spare room or on the couch.

  3. I have been best friends with my guy friend Matt since 8th grade (we're both juniors in college now). He and I have gone through everything, even the awkward liking each other stage for a little (we didn't end up dating because we didn't want our friendship to be ruined).

    But everytime I talk about him (which is often because he is my best friend), people always think that I like him or we're dating. I have to explain - 'NO. We're just best friends. That's it.'

    It's so annoying that people don't believe in guy & girl no-sex relationships. It bums me out sometimes!

  4. Ha. Oh leah, you would write on this topic.... you probably know how I feel about this. Miss you.

  5. My bff has been a guy for about 10 years. I love my Richard Bradford like a sister! or maybe I should say brother because he will kill me for saying sister. :)

  6. I've never really got the whole guys and girls cant be friends thing either. My absolute best friend is a man and we've known each other for years - neither of us would even consider the other in a "romantic" way and we treat each other exactly the same as our friends of the same sex :)

  7. vey insightful! I think (THINK) men and women can be just friends. BUT, if you start hanging out too much, too often, things can get weird. I'm kinda going through this right now! And had a VERY VERRRYYY simliar convo to the above with my gf's today! In fact...was that ME you were quoting?! haha, I haven't even told you about it yet ;) Anywhoo, it's good to try, but somehow if you're both just gets weird.

  8. I sooooo agree with this topic :) I have more guy friends than i do girl friends, and I would never in a million years sleep with some of them :) Strangly though my ex bf always said girls and guys could never be just friends, he now wants to be friends so go figure that out lol -x-x-

  9. You know the same thing happened to me. But instead of my guy friends freaking out, it was a girl. She was in total disbelief that I slept in the same bed as a guy friend and didn't fool around with him. The guy is like my brother, and the thought of being with him sexually made me vomit a little in my mouth. So, it's not just a guy issue. I really don't know what the deal is... Why this type of thinking still exists. Good post!

  10. Not going to happen ever. One of the "friends" is always interested in more. As Harry Burns said, "...the sex part always gets in the way."